奪回主權
做自己的主人
好準備為更精彩的事情奉獻所有心力
- 生活裡面每一個component 都盡量由自己initiate。aware, aware, aware。看來要戒網了！
Wednesday, 27 June 2012
Sunday, 24 June 2012
Wednesday, 20 June 2012
一些建議，記於西安之行後
- 要做強者。不做玩偶。不要再容許自己講埋什麼請尊重我之類的說話。這麼抽象的概念對於他人，毫無意義。
- 我希望你保持自己的意見，相信自己，不為他人一句否定的說話以至嘲笑所動搖。一句講曬：道不同，不相為謀。
唔好再犧牲青春去做父母自以為好的事情！當我求下你！你要去多幾多次旅行團去用奢華感受自己的浪費、用睇SHOW 去感受自己可以無意義到什麼程度、用走馬看花和被困遊客商店去感受人生徹底在自己掌握以外的絕望？然後我阿媽話我應該買酒店PACKAGE和跟團。否定一切編排、尋找、偶遇、挫折、成功對我的重大意義。真的不再認為血緣關係就能表示這是你們是家人，正面思考就能讓你像姊姊一樣跟他們有什麼默契。COME ON. 每個人都有責任尋找自己真正的家。 - 真係覺得其實世上好多人都係變態，對住和背住人的兩副面口不一致得比什麼暴力狂都要令人心寒。totally unacceptable. 不過他們是大多數罷了。
- 流動比停係度令人思想清晰多了(不過一坐返係屋企電腦前已衰)。
- 堅持！！！過了關口便是大直路！無呃你！！！
- 拒絕什麼敵不動我不動－－做主動才是勝利者！！
Sunday, 3 June 2012
- The suffocating feeling comes right after the end of Noble Silence. It doesn't even matter if I've learned anything in the course, or how it helped me understand myself, if I had terminated my suffering, whatsoever... The truth gets ridiculously obvious.What I did in these 10 days is an extreme escape from life, from making choices, from freedom, you name it. Am I doing any spiritual searching like what I did before? am I? or maybe, I've got the final answer already, and its name is Existentialism. My pain does not come from craving. Maybe not even hatred. But it comes from the lost of passion. Helplessly numb. Buddha, how shall I rebuild my attachment to things in life?
- Thanks to the discourses, I finally got a more objective (hope I'm not fooling myself- it is so easy for one to get fooled by their arrogance when it comes to objectivity and rationality) view on Christianity. Is that what the Zen called "see the mountains once again as mountains"?!
I mean, if you substitute the word 'Jesus' or 'God' with kindness, or happiness, everything makes sense again, isn't it? Take away the parts you find unacceptable and remain those which help. How people create God in their own image really pissed me off... but there is too much good to be Christian. I mean it. My parents and sister are the best examples- loving and kind human beings. Prayers before meals are not necessarily meaningless rituals even though the food is obviously not prepared by God (if God exists) - if it cultivates one's gratitude, and gratitude is scientifically proven helpful to mental health.
Very simple and obvious! Why does it take me so long to REALLY UNDERSTAND?
When we were taught about the 10 Paramis, I thought of the fruits of the Holy Spirit. And I am thankful such words are deeply rooted in my head :-)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. — Galatians 5:22-23
- Logic, morality, theories are not the question. "DOES IT WORK?" is.
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
Tuesday, 22 May 2012
Wednesday, 9 May 2012
Guide for Jennifer Kwok
What works:
What doesn't:
back to depression and solitude
What I have to stop doing:
Learn from Experiences:
- Physical Exercises.
- Meditation / mindful activities.
What doesn't:
- googling every single detail. 通常去旅行時睇返之前的安排紙都覺得做的RESEARCH 沒什麼用.
- 無行程先出發，起身唔知做乜好。
- Quotes... sadly they made you even more confused
back to depression and solitude
What I have to stop doing:
- letting facebook dominate my life
- doing nothing. stop doing doing nothing
- overthinking. overresearching.
Whai I have to start doing:
- Resume and portfolio
- Language
- Check out information of art schools
- Quick decision might not turn out to be the best, but usually doesn't harm much (as much as indecision. 折磨)
- You always remember what you actually DID better than your great philosophical thoughts.
Saturday, 5 May 2012
邪教！
http://www.richyli.com/column/sect/sekt_checklist.htm
RESEARCH 下邪教兩個字，睇住個表，過往經驗逐一浮現!
也諗起一直BUY的IDEOLOGIES.
一入沙浸深似海
大學OCAMP
18268
national inflation association...
NLF
OSHO....
記憶課程
仲有未親身接觸過的傳銷
我唔想踏實走大多數人走的路不QUESTION
但一個人的力量太小，如何在亂世中明辨是非？？？（這一句好有基督味）
有時愈想覺醒就愈快上當！
好想參加十日內觀。想起來實在是孤注一擲，一次徹底的打開頭腦，讓陌生人在潛意識層面上施手術。要麼開始覺醒、要麼被偷偷注入思想，無可回頭。
－
學術呢？象牙塔會不會才是最危險荒謬的地方？
－
想起九月開始我真係成個人BAD TASTE 咗. 而三月起我食的書更大眾化了.
是否OPEN-MINDED 之過?
急於尋找救贖? 太依賴外來幫助以致漸漸喪失自我的信念和品味?
-
somehow 讀左咁多書, 就算是修畢所謂的Critical theories / critical thinking，獨立思考能力還是沒進反退。學到的不外乎是聽了一堆理論，然後把一些較強的收藏。
RESEARCH 下邪教兩個字，睇住個表，過往經驗逐一浮現!
也諗起一直BUY的IDEOLOGIES.
一入沙浸深似海
大學OCAMP
18268
national inflation association...
NLF
OSHO....
記憶課程
仲有未親身接觸過的傳銷
我唔想踏實走大多數人走的路不QUESTION
但一個人的力量太小，如何在亂世中明辨是非？？？（這一句好有基督味）
有時愈想覺醒就愈快上當！
好想參加十日內觀。想起來實在是孤注一擲，一次徹底的打開頭腦，讓陌生人在潛意識層面上施手術。要麼開始覺醒、要麼被偷偷注入思想，無可回頭。
－
學術呢？象牙塔會不會才是最危險荒謬的地方？
－
想起九月開始我真係成個人BAD TASTE 咗. 而三月起我食的書更大眾化了.
是否OPEN-MINDED 之過?
急於尋找救贖? 太依賴外來幫助以致漸漸喪失自我的信念和品味?
-
somehow 讀左咁多書, 就算是修畢所謂的Critical theories / critical thinking，獨立思考能力還是沒進反退。學到的不外乎是聽了一堆理論，然後把一些較強的收藏。
Wednesday, 2 May 2012
我想承認SHAW PHOTO DAY 果日我根本是不想出現
我想承認我著袍根本一點高興的感覺都沒有
我想承認那對我來說是恥辱
因為它代表我把最青春的日子埋葬在不喜愛的事情上面 純粹是為了一張紙
我想承認跟家人拍畢業照裡頭的全是強顏歡笑
我想承認我一點也不喜歡手中的公仔 一如他們從來不斷供給物質卻沒嘗試了解我的喜好
我想承認我從懷疑到現在花費三年親身證實了，有美國唔留返香港讀書是世上最ON9的決定
我想承認自己是太太太膽小了，不敢反思，反思後亦不敢以行動反抗
我想承認自己受惰性操控了，懶到不出手改變自己的生命
我想承認長期待在這工廠我的視野變窄了，雖然也有在學術方面開過眼界，但相對之下世界之大，跟整堆年齡背景種族一模一樣的人一起背幾百張 POWERPOINT 算是什麼？
我想承認過去三年我在掙扎所以更累
我想承認我現在好撚驚
我想承認好撚驚背後是好撚自卑
我想承認廿二歲來說我的見識真的好少
我想承認我現在根本沒有足夠的技能和經驗去投入任何事業
我想承認我看到自己那一身缺點，光是不擅辭令已教我不知如何所謂在社會上立足
我想承認更大鑊的是我還沒有自己的想法
我想承認我只會埋怨但面對任何人回過來的一句 咁你想點？ 我啞左
我想承認我還沒能為自己的人生作出任何選擇，但更加唔想有人幫
好的一方面是
總算是學到教訓
希望真的醒悟了 不再懶惰猶豫不決
咁大個人了
從現在開始積極為自己的人生作出選擇
信自己！信自己！信自己！
我想承認我著袍根本一點高興的感覺都沒有
我想承認那對我來說是恥辱
因為它代表我把最青春的日子埋葬在不喜愛的事情上面 純粹是為了一張紙
我想承認跟家人拍畢業照裡頭的全是強顏歡笑
我想承認我一點也不喜歡手中的公仔 一如他們從來不斷供給物質卻沒嘗試了解我的喜好
我想承認我從懷疑到現在花費三年親身證實了，有美國唔留返香港讀書是世上最ON9的決定
我想承認自己是太太太膽小了，不敢反思，反思後亦不敢以行動反抗
我想承認自己受惰性操控了，懶到不出手改變自己的生命
我想承認長期待在這工廠我的視野變窄了，雖然也有在學術方面開過眼界，但相對之下世界之大，跟整堆年齡背景種族一模一樣的人一起背幾百張 POWERPOINT 算是什麼？
我想承認過去三年我在掙扎所以更累
我想承認我現在好撚驚
我想承認好撚驚背後是好撚自卑
我想承認廿二歲來說我的見識真的好少
我想承認我現在根本沒有足夠的技能和經驗去投入任何事業
我想承認我看到自己那一身缺點，光是不擅辭令已教我不知如何所謂在社會上立足
我想承認更大鑊的是我還沒有自己的想法
我想承認我只會埋怨但面對任何人回過來的一句 咁你想點？ 我啞左
我想承認我還沒能為自己的人生作出任何選擇，但更加唔想有人幫
好的一方面是
總算是學到教訓
希望真的醒悟了 不再懶惰猶豫不決
咁大個人了
從現在開始積極為自己的人生作出選擇
信自己！信自己！信自己！
Sunday, 22 April 2012
VIA
Your Top Character Strength
Love of learning
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.
Your Second Character Strength
Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence
You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.
You notice and appreciate beauty, excellence, and/or skilled performance in all domains of life, from nature to art to mathematics to science to everyday experience.
Your Third Character Strength
Forgiveness
You forgive those who have done you wrong. You always give people a second chance. Your guiding principle is mercy and not revenge.
You forgive those who have done you wrong. You always give people a second chance. Your guiding principle is mercy and not revenge.
Your Fourth Character Strength
Fairness
Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.
Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.
Your Fifth Character Strength
Judgment
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.
Character Strength #6
Creativity
Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.
Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.
Character Strength #7
Honesty
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.
Character Strength #8
Kindness
You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds for others, even if you do not know them well.
You are kind and generous to others, and you are never too busy to do a favor. You enjoy doing good deeds for others, even if you do not know them well.
Character Strength #9
Humility
You do not seek the spotlight, preferring to let your accomplishments speak for themselves. You do not regard yourself as special, and others recognize and value your modesty.
You do not seek the spotlight, preferring to let your accomplishments speak for themselves. You do not regard yourself as special, and others recognize and value your modesty.
Character Strength #10
Prudence
You are a careful person, and your choices are consistently prudent ones. You do not say or do things that you might later regret.
You are a careful person, and your choices are consistently prudent ones. You do not say or do things that you might later regret.
Character Strength #11
Love
You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.
You value close relations with others, in particular those in which sharing and caring are reciprocated. The people to whom you feel most close are the same people who feel most close to you.
Character Strength #12
Curiosity
You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.
You are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery.
Character Strength #13
Bravery
You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.
You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.
Character Strength #14
Humor
You like to laugh and tease. Bringing smiles to other people is important to you. You try to see the light side of all situations.
You like to laugh and tease. Bringing smiles to other people is important to you. You try to see the light side of all situations.
Character Strength #15
Teamwork
You excel as a member of a group. You are a loyal and dedicated teammate, you always do your share, and you work hard for the success of your group.
You excel as a member of a group. You are a loyal and dedicated teammate, you always do your share, and you work hard for the success of your group.
Character Strength #16
Gratitude
You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.
You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.
Character Strength #17
Perspective
Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.
Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.
Character Strength #18
Leadership
You excel at the tasks of leadership: encouraging a group to get things done and preserving harmony within the group by making everyone feel included. You do a good job organizing activities and seeing that they happen.
You excel at the tasks of leadership: encouraging a group to get things done and preserving harmony within the group by making everyone feel included. You do a good job organizing activities and seeing that they happen.
Character Strength #19
Spirituality
You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.
You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.
Character Strength #20
Zest
Regardless of what you do, you approach it with excitement and energy. You never do anything halfway or halfheartedly. For you, life is an adventure.
Regardless of what you do, you approach it with excitement and energy. You never do anything halfway or halfheartedly. For you, life is an adventure.
Character Strength #21
Social intelligence
You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.
You are aware of the motives and feelings of other people. You know what to do to fit in to different social situations, and you know what to do to put others at ease.
Character Strength #22
Self-Regulation
You self-consciously regulate what you feel and what you do. You are a disciplined person. You are in control of your appetites and your emotions, not vice versa.
You self-consciously regulate what you feel and what you do. You are a disciplined person. You are in control of your appetites and your emotions, not vice versa.
Character Strength #23
Hope
You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control.
You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control.
Character Strength #24
Perseverance
You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.
You work hard to finish what you start. No matter the project, you "get it out the door" in timely fashion. You do not get distracted when you work, and you take satisfaction in completing tasks.
Friday, 30 March 2012
這樣EMOTIONAL 其實也是熱血青春的一種
如今, 可以愈發冷靜理智成熟了
自動化投入下一步［搵一份傳媒相關的全職工作］之前看清楚ＯＰＴＩＯＮＳ以及自己的意願。
不知道是不是東方國家教育和文化的關係，。剛開始發展的個性又磨蝕。妥協，為了不令自己過於痛苦，自我麻醉。麻醉藥效過後，可能手上多了什麼大學畢業名銜，面目已被削成一片模糊了。要掘曾經冒出所謂理想就更加困難，什至連興趣也漸窄，由實在的行動，到被動電影書本，到只剩下吃和睡。
見步行步
因為決定錯誤，兩三年下來的掙扎和自責已經把自己弄得疲倦不堪。
思考思不出
拒絕做這個社會上的一粒齒輪。但有什麼ＥＳＣＡＰＥ呢？逃得了香港，地方，還不是社會。
出家。或者投入事。前者怕悶。我憝我都係需要錢。錢？無本投資做生意，是否一定要入公司？
有預感，仆好多好多條街，為過去的。延遲好多次。明明長大的機會，我都繞過了。人家去做實習，我也實習，坐在政府辦公室裡等放工，這算是什麼歷練！？然後因為我的意志薄弱，精神上的疲倦，負了太多太多人和事。我不知道是否所有野都要還。如果係的話，可能未來十年都會過得辛苦？
好多野要學。而話頭醒尾是有限的，許許多多走過人生路的人都告訴我們挫折是不可避免的。經歷嘗試經歷失敗。
好驚，好撚驚，人人都可以講一句＂去他的！收入來ＤＥＦＩＮＥ我的價值？！＂但作為一個真係唔知自己值幾多錢的人，說著這話還是會心虛－－成句野同＂吃不到的葡萄是酸的＂有咩分別？。
咩都唔做順風順水得太久了。悶死左。經歷過青春的ＥＭＯＴＩＯＮＡＬ。好驚好驚好驚外貌會老，不太相信年紀＝智慧的。但成熟，即冷靜不被情緒牽住，即知道自己有咩可以做，即有承擔。我期待真正成為一個知道自己做緊咩的自己。一個做到Ｄ野的自己。唔會思前想後諗太多，知道行動勝過思想，但同時死命保衛獨立思考的自己。GOOD LUCK.
Sunday, 29 January 2012
Monday, 23 January 2012
Thursday, 19 January 2012
Monday, 16 January 2012
Sunday, 15 January 2012
Saturday, 7 January 2012
Thursday, 5 January 2012
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Monday, 2 January 2012
Sunday, 1 January 2012
http://www.stevepavlina.com/forums/character-contribution/63206-blech-finding-your-life-purpose-20-mins.html
There are similar exercises where you write down what you want and then ask Why? or What will that give you? and carry on until you get a realisation moment.
EEEE!! 可能因為我存在主義?! 所以係無本質!?!
My suggestion to you is to try remembering all the times that you've cried in the past
What is my life purpose?
Joy, experience, love, travel, exploring
Joy, experience, love, travel, exploring
待睇
五年, 傷心
AU PAIR
Saturday, 31 December 2011
2011
幾乎忘了趁2011 正式完結前寫篇文章。
上半年的事，我都不太記得了。應該是唯一享受讀書的學期。從沒想過會在新傳學院遇上潘國靈，感謝老師，算是開了眼界。
北京。
五月，讀社會學書籍，在學習裡得力量。那些階級觀念已經洗不去了。
六月入政府。精神力量到底了。我還是一直忍受，一直忍受到七月二十九日，其時我已完全麻木。
不過好的方面是連日的囚禁使我終於新聞產生興趣－－那是三年來對新聞最有興趣的日子！有關替補機制的文字，更是讀不厭。
八月。永遠不會忘記的月份。玩到好大，滿身泥濘地從深圳回家，而感覺太好了。我還是不知道那時是否真的必須要這樣做，但肯定的是，勇敢永遠是令自己快樂的選擇。
當然還是有些後遺症要留待九月時承受。隔著電腦觀看千里外的事，仍是難忘的戲劇。
然後我是多麼有福。終於每天都可以待在我喜歡的人身旁。
可是見得太多，時光也就不那麼珍貴了。
可惜那少許好奇還是無以為繼。
還好，在最後一個學期總算吐氣揚眉－－有實質的成就。那是名副其實的孩子。
十二月，一切慢下來了，我又漂浮在生命的海中央，不知去向。
－
算是我喜歡的一年。
到底有沒有成長過？去到最後，一切又好像跟往年一樣。
Friday, 30 December 2011
Thursday, 29 December 2011
Monday, 26 December 2011
一定會懷念這一刻我我和生活. 正如我現在還會想起在美國陪伴過我的物質 - MICHAELS 桃紅膠桌子. 一些衣物. 不過又無話無左佢唔得既!
只能說友誼可以諗一諗先丟
其他就沒所謂啦
empty the cup 的道理你都懂.
所以要丟了! 頂硬上!
(我諗緊 - 3年前都係咁丟法而我後來發覺丟了自己的前途)
ok. then 我睇返XANGA.
當時的障礙應該係停滯感
其實而家都係GA
我一定要讓人生重新流動起來.
唔係鍾唔鍾意美國香港既問題. 係唔可以停留咁耐.
生活要有新野.
我要做FREETER.
不是地方的問題----係思考方式問題
現在覺得被困了, 要一些人事地書ETC 幫我開隻窗
-
此刻, 郭穎怡 JENNIFER KWOK,
我想告訴你,
我真係好希望你能果敢做自己想做的事,
真係好希望你唔會被生活沖刷得麻木了、忘記真正重要的事
不過我都知好難, 正如我日日有無時間都上網, PORTFOLIO 搞N年都搞唔到
-
2012 願望：去3 個城市生活，唔靠父母養。
-
回到轉捩點, 心態跟3年前幾乎一樣!
咁即係我有無變? 有無成長過? 智慧有增長嗎?
或者真係要迫自己無退路了!!
FOR REAL CHANGE!!!!!!
呀話時話OBAMA 都上任三年了
我不知道有什麼CHANGE
-
Sunday, 25 December 2011
都係覺得浪費左幾年,
[lesson learned: 被情緒控制住的時候不敢自己做決定]
不過過左去就唔好介懷咁多啦
成為你自己. 你有的還是可能性!
自由!!!
想
學好英語 外語 PORTFOLIO!! FUCK
學煮野食-做廚才是真理!! 這是從阿公身上看到的!
想
旅居多幾個城市
成為你自己. 你有的還是可能性!
自由!!!
想
學好英語 外語 PORTFOLIO!! FUCK
學煮野食-做廚才是真理!! 這是從阿公身上看到的!
想
旅居多幾個城市
識照顧自己照顧別人,不想再被照顧
要去一個無退路的境地..... that's where
"Always go too far, because that's where you'll find the truth." Albert Camus想好好生活
沒有奢侈
天昏地暗地工作一陣子
技能:
湊仔做家務
煮食
語言
web design!
妥協是最大的悲劇
請堅持已見
Friday, 23 December 2011
Sunday, 18 December 2011
Thursday, 8 December 2011
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